steahl: (Default)
[personal profile] steahl
Oh dear lord no, me, in charge of people? Are you mad?

...ah, wait, that's me now isn't it? Of course it is. That is why I'm here. I've found that my current employment has come to a rather regrettable falling out. You see there was a tiny slip in the calculations of a world wave counter resonance chamber and didn't I warn them not to let anyone with less than a decade of practice under their belts touch that?! Yes, yes I did. I do warn people.

I do. Honest.

Regardless, that contract has expired alongside the majority of the small pocket dimension that was reliant upon the uneducated masses not adjusting my equations. The remainder of that populace will no doubt drift about before finding a natural, almost Darwinian, end, and I am at loose ends. I am not a creature as does well without a laboratory environment. The equipment I'm employing now as I ride the edge of the reality wave here is rather primitive and cobbled together. As you can see the video screen is less than cooperative... you'll simply have to take my word that I'm in the prime of my years and fit with no sign of gross physical mutation or undue radiation sickness from my profession.

You'll have to pardon me if I ramble, it has been quite some time since I've 'put myself on the market' as it were. I've enjoyed a lazy several years being sought rather than ferreting out those who might require a skill set such as mine. Ah, so why now? Why did this particular young, intrepid world sculptor catch my attentions?

Why, distance of course. Your ambitious project is light years away from the scene of my current predicament and I find that quite comforting, much less ideal for my work.

Ah, and the crux of it? Why am I contacting you? You thought I'd never get there, for shame! I rarely lose track of what I intend to do you see. I am going to tell you! Yes. I'd like to accept a job from you.

Not just any job though. As I believe I mentioned before I should NOT have any people placed under my care under any conditions. Barring children. Those are quite easy to entertain and perfectly curious creatures. Anyone else should remain far away from my jurisdiction though lest they become tempting vectors in my studies. I find this seems to inexplicably strain relationships and as such as deemed it necessary to avoid.

What you need, my dear architects, is someone well versed in the interactions of biological and magical systems and the structuring thereof. People of vision are given to build after all, and they create vast, sweeping, breathtaking lands to dabble within. My strengths lie far below such titanic efforts, grounded in the far more, as you could say, fiddly. I ensure stability in any given natural system.

Oh, don't let my modesty fool you! Stability is an incredibly hard state to achieve in any burgeoning system, and hard to maintain in existing ones. I employ a range of talents, from microbial correctional algorithms to aggression behavioral modification, to even resonance reality weaving on the metaphysical scale to ensure a healthy, happy, and maintainable environment.

Naturally some of these methods involve adaptive measures enacted upon the populace at large but my rejection and failure rate among sentient species is less that 0.000012%. As of the last cross dimensional scientific ratings consortium meeting this falls far below the dangerous rates of most other practitioners who might have need to work upon thinking beings. While currently reaching out in need, I assure you that I am one of your safest, and most practiced, options, in this regard.

For your peace of mind though I'm including a short, data burst transmission. Don't be alarmed, a slight headache may accompany the image but it is simply rewiring several key neural pathways in your brain to create room for the data on previous works I have done. Commencing transmission in three,

The headache should abate by morning. If you continue to experience discomfort after waking then congratulations! You are one of very few sentient beings that operates not only on an alpha-beta process but along the lines of a tertiary energy pathform known as the Sigma pathway! This may also explain many unusual events you had as a child and any unusual thoughts and emotions you may experience to this day! In short you may have a tendency toward what many realities call an esper ability and you should contact me for further discussion as well as reversal of the data dump. Immediately.

Ah, the onboard system are starting to peak, it's time for me to switch this power system over to a hydrogen scoop and emulsion system...which I will have to build in about ten minutes. Never fear, communications will be the second system I convert once life support is fully operational once more so you should be able to contact me in some hours time once your minds have had time to process the information I've laid down for you.

Yes, you may contact me, I answer to my nom de plume, Steahl, or more commonly to Beth. This frequency is quite possibly the best method of return communications, and I am quite willing to answer any further questions you may have about my areas of expertise and experience!

Oh and let me quell your fears, dear architects, the concept of 'mad science' is quite outdated. I am a purveyor of innovative and interlinked scientific endeavors, nothing more. Until later then!
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